My Secret Joy — Will Mannon

It began as a chore. Now it gives me a rush.

The thing? Language learning. Chinese, specifically. Learning Chinese is my rock climbing, my kitesurfing, my skydiving just for fun. Listening to natives speak full-speed Mandarin feels like flying down the back bowl at Vail, skis pointed down the hill, ripping and carving at speeds suited for the interstate.

Here’s how it works: I pop on the noise-cancelling Bose and fire up Shengdong Jixi (my all-time favorite podcast). Xu Tao’s perfect Mandarin slides back into my ears, her silky voice pulling me into blissful flow. Hai dajia hao, huanying nimen shouting shengdong jixi, wo shi Xu Tao. At this point it’s Pavlovian. Just writing those words feels like taking a small hit.

She starts the interview. Some guest, some topic. I surf her words like a big wave pro, right on the edge of understanding and not. Sometimes just words come through, other times full phrases and sentences. I’ve got the thread, then I lose it, then I snatch it back again. The challenge pulls me into a perpetual presence, a flow state of known and unknown that raises my heart rate and makes me lean in.

My body feels movement as she speaks. It’s hard to describe, this sense of forward momentum. Skiing fits best. That rush of sensation as you fly downhill, the swooshing sound of snow passing beneath. Recognizing certain words brings the same visceral pleasure as a crisp turn or big drop. Shenme shihou, jiu shi zheyang de, qishi wo juede…It’s exhilarating. The perfect Goldilocks-level difficulty: not too easy, not too tough. And it never gets old. Late at night, when I should be in REM, I’ll find myself entering my third hour of Chinese listening, still riveted.

It’s a privilege to be an advanced language learner. I’m thankful to have an activity that brings such a deep sense of joy. It’s an infinite game I can always return to. Sometimes I imagine I’m skiing a never-ending mountain. Picture it: 100,000 miles of slope beneath me, and on I ski, day after day, listening, carving, gliding down the mountain, never getting bored.

I’ll never know what it feels like to experience most things – I’ll never be a champion kite surfer, a starting pro quarterback or a free solo climber. These activities all bring their own rush, one which I’ll never know firsthand. But that’s okay with me. I’ve got Chinese.